Almost 32 weeks and hurting in my heart...

We are still miserable and will be hitting 32 weeks tomorrow! 2 more weeks and little man's chances of needing to be placed on a vent drop very significantly! My contractions are really picking up these days and are regularly 5 minutes apart around the clock, every other one is extremely painful though so it's making the days (and nights) much longer. Thank goodness they have me on pain meds, although I hate the thought of exposing little man to them.

While I'm so thrilled that we have made it this far I am really struggling with a friend's loss. A women and her family that I have never met in real life are on my mind so very much these days. I long to find the right words to bring her comfort but I know that they will never come and it's physically impossible for me to just give her the hug that she needs and the help that I would love to give. I feel so very guilty that I am just struggling to keep little man in and it really puts all of this into perspective. What I really struggle to understand is how all these women can just dismiss their pregnancies as a major inconvenience and continue on with their lives as normal while many women around the world struggle with infertility, loss or both. It disgusts me every time I get on my birth board and read about women begging to be induced because they are so miserable. I know so many women that would give ANYTHING to be that miserable just at a shot to have their baby. Why in the world would you not want to give your baby the best possible beginning? As far as I'm concerned, my discomfort is NOTHING when it comes to my child's health and well being.

This journey that we are on, although it seriously pales in comparison to many, has really opened my eyes to what my life is really about and what causes I will soon be fighting for. My heart has been touched more than I can explain on so many levels and I can guarantee that in the near future my cause will be clear.